I think we get offended for the same reason that we sin. It has to do with desire. When we sin, according to James 1: 14, it begins with the enticement of a “want to” within us. When we become offended, it seems that it also has to do with an enticement of a deep-seated “want.”

We want to feel secure about ourselves, and we go about gaining that security by the way that we present ourselves to others. The hope is that our appearance, behavior, thoughts and speech will gain the approval of others. When that doesn’t happen and someone speaks or reacts negatively towards something we say or do, we usually and angrily take offense.

That someone expresses disagreement with us is part of life. Sometimes, it’s innocently expressed and deserved. Other times, the person didn’t mean what was said. And then there are times in which malicious hurt is intended.

In any case, what we want to do as Christians is respond to grievances and attacks against us in a way that’s healthy to our spiritual well-being. We can do that, I believe, by addressing the aforementioned root cause of being offended.

We’ve got to get over the desired idea and feeling that security is found in and of ourselves. We’ve got to give up the right that we think we have that says we are not to be offended. If we do that, we’ll find ourselves following in Jesus’ footsteps.

On the cross, instead of being offended at His enemies, He asked the Father to forgive them. He knew that behind their actions were malevolent spiritual forces. Knowing the reality, He didn’t get angry. Instead, He focused on their need; their need for redemption.

That is the strength of character that should be our root “want.” If we were to truly give in to that desire – pray for it; it’ll happen, for it’s in line with God’s will – we too can learn to overlook the offender and focus on their needs by, if nothing else, praying for them to also seek to be like Jesus.

In Jesus is our identity and security; not in the opinions, likes, and dislikes of others. Believing that; having faith in that; is the only way that we can come to feel and respond in the godly way to the hurts that come against us.