Husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered. 1 Peter 3:7
Calling a wife a weaker vessel is a thorny, sensitive issue that doesn’t sit well in this politically correct time of ours. Political correctness, though, is worldly wisdom. I want to frame it in terms of God’s wisdom.
God has determined an order for His kingdom here on earth. In this kingdom, when it comes to marriage, we read in God’s Word that the husband is to be the head (Ephesians 5: 23), and that wives are to submit to their husbands (1Peter 3: 1; Ephesians 5: 22).
This arrangement is likened to the spiritual marriage between Jesus and the church (Ephesians 5: 23-25). In this comparison, the church is the weaker vessel. It’s role is weaker because Jesus is the one who sets the tone and gives direction. Jesus’ role is a divinely prioritized, task of accountability.
In the same way is the wife weaker than the husband, meaning she carries a lesser responsibility in the marriage. The husband is to lead. Though, she may be capable of leading, God has called her to fulfill a different function or role.
Why the wife is assigned lesser responsibility seems to have something to do with the order of creation and this world’s fall. 1Timothy 2: 12-14 seems to suggest that top authority is given to the husband because it was man who was created first, and, as an aside, because it was woman who first sinned. Whether that makes sense to us or not, it is God’s reasoning. His thoughts are higher and more knowledgeable than ours. We must accept them as His will.
God is a God of order. For there to be harmony and unity in the earthly marriage, there must be His order; just as it is in the spiritual marriage between Jesus and the church; just as it is in the Godhead itself. Listen to these words of Jesus. In both statements, there is an admission of one role being submissive or weaker than another. “The Father is greater than I.” John 14: 28. “He [the Holy Spirit] will not speak on his own initiative, but whatever He hears [from Jesus], He will speak.” John 16: 13.
In the marriage, it is important to understand that, though the husband is given authority, it doesn’t mean that the wife is less valuable in her personhood or her role. Her accountability is simply different. She is to be loved, respected, and honored for what she truly is— a fellow believer; a co-heir to Christ’s eternal inheritance. Both spousal roles are equally valuable and each role equally contributes to the couple being one in Christ.
In order for the marriage to work, the requirement is that both spouses will have to commit to God’s order. Order eliminates confusion and is the method by which progress and growth are efficiently made.