Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?

1. We’re related.

2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people’s mom like me.

What kind of a little girl was your mom?

1. My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.

2. I don’t know because I wasn’t there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.

3. They say she used to be nice.

Who’s the boss at your house?

1. Mom doesn’t want to be boss, but she has to because dad’s such a goof ball.

2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.

3. I guess mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.

What’s the difference between moms and dads?

1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.

2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.

3. Dads are taller and stronger, but moms have all the real power cause that’s who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friends.

4. Moms have magic; they make you feel better without medicine.

If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?

1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I’d get rid of that.

2. I’d make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it not me.

3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.

A young girl stood by her mother as she washed dishes.

” Mother where does your white hair come from?” Her mother carefully mulled this over before replying.

“Whenever you do somthing that makes me sad, one of my hairs turns white”. The small girl quietly concidered this for awhile and then asked,

“What did you do to grandma?”

You know you’re a mom when…

1. You count the sprinkles on each kid’s cupcake to make sure they’re equal.

2. You hide in the bathroom to be alone.

3. Your kid throws up and you catch it.

4. Someone else’s kid throws up at a party. You keep eating.

5. You’ve mastered the art of placing large quantities of pancakes and eggs on a plate without anything touching.

6. You cling to the high moral ground on toy weapons; your child chews his toast into the shape of a gun.

7. You can’t bear the thought of your son’s first girlfriend.

8. You hate the thought of his wife even more.

9. You can’t bear to give away baby clothes – it’s so final.

10. You stop criticizing the way your mother raised you.

11. You donate to charities in the hope that your child won’t get that disease.

12. You hire a sitter because you haven’t been out with your husband in ages, then spend half the night checking on the kids.

13. You use your own saliva to clean your child’s face.

14. You say at least once a day, “I’m not cut out for this job”, but you know you wouldn’t trade it for the world.